Mumbling to myself, many expletives in, I quietly (yeah, right) resign myself to the fact that there was no hope for the golden bubbles pencil skirt tonight. Le BIG FAT sigh.
I figure I can find another pencil skirt, in a heartbeat. Well, no dice. Most of my good pencil skirts had already been worn (and were set to go to the dry cleaners) or were just too spring-y. So I had to go with a back-up, which I thought just looked okay. (But I wanted to look like spun sugar on a white cashmere cloud, darnit.)
This skirt is the very lovely blushed tweed pencil skirt (in a vanity size 6, mind you, did that help, nope, not on Dina's dramatic day).
Let's move onto the church, shall we?
Well, we were late. By 5 minutes. Which is normally never a big deal, especially on the Saturday evening 5:30 pm masses, which are usually ghost towns (which is why we go--meet exhibit a--Rex, and exhibit b--CW).
Turns out that 6 pm Christmas Eve mass is the family mass and EVERY. SINGLE. FAMILY. that is part of the parish (and their extended families) were at church that night, and every. single. space. was full. (Where are you people at the Ghost Town masses...hmmm???? I only ask with a bit of accusation in my voice.)
Well guess who decides that he/she wants to be just awful? Yeah, that's right. My darling, precious, very nicely dressed up (no wardrobe malfunctions there, thank goodness for small favors, I suppose) sweet Rex and CW.
So guess who gets to go out to the lobby (cold lobby, mind you) and teach Rex a lesson the entire rest of the mass? Yep. Me. (Probably a bit of a martyr, me, but well, I will remind you of the PMS.)
Thankfully, my family got that I probably was at the end of my tether and said that even getting to mass was more than enough and making it to Communion was great, so they walked me and Mr. Delightful outside. As soon as the real cold wind hit my face, I grabbed my step-mom, held her back, and immediately burst into tears.
"Blubber, blubber, blubber."
"What's wrong, Dina?"
"Snot, Tears, Drool, my pretty skirt split up the side and I couldn't wear it, and we got to mass late and we couldn't all sit together, and I am having my period, my kids are terrible, I am a horrible and fat mommy, and I just want to have a drink right. now."
"Okay."
To which she then put me in the same car with her and my dad, told Jim to take the kids on ahead to the house (we were having our traditional Christmas Eve present opening party there at my childhood home--see part three for more on that), and then soothed me like the over-wrought little baby that I was. LOL.
I did get wine, I did get amazingly perfect presents, and best of all, I eventually happened upon the exact combo of clothes that made me end up feeling great about myself (PMS be damned).
Part Three to come.
