Thursday, January 15, 2009

Something I have in abundance that has nothing to do with consumerism...

My son and daughter are the loves of my life. Seriously. I love my husband, my dad, my mom, my brothers, my step-mom Amanda, my in-laws, etc., but I know my love for my son and daughter is something I never before fathomed having.

I am passionate, yes, but often in a very cerebral and practical way. I LOVE swimming because of the zen-like high I get from pounding out the laps...I LOVE J. Crew because of the way that their clothing allows me to feel and (often) look good. I LOVE teaching because I can pass on to a future generation the minute details of what America is, what is has been, and what it can be.

These things that I am passionate about--I could and WOULD throw away tomorrow if I had to choose between them and my kids. No one ever warned me that I would turn into a "mama" bear when I had kids. I feel my instincts kicking in when I am with them...a sheer mix of giddiness, fear, hope, joy, and yes, a huge heart-shaped helping of love.

I always think, "okay, that's enough...I can't possibly love them anymore," and then they do something else that makes my heart skip a beat.

Latest heartbeat-skipping moment: I have been trying to get Rex (my son, now 23 months old) to say "I love you" for ages. He can say our president-elect's name (imagine it--OBAMA! yelled loudly) but not "I love you." So two weeks ago, upon putting him in the crib, I say, "Rex, can you say 'I love you?'" He looks at me with those big blue eyes of his, takes his bottle out of his mouth (yeah, yeah, he shouldn't have a bottle at his age), and says, "wuv you..." My heart about stopped beating. He now yells it on a daily basis...when I am leaving to go to work, putting him to bed, letting him watch yo gabba gabba, you name it. And get this--my heart still skips a beat.
I think there will be many more lovely instances like this in my life. This is the best kind of overabundance to have ever...

1 comment:

Fatima said...

Oh my God! Dina, Dina, Dina!
This is such a beautiful post. I was searching for a review on some j.crew shoes and somehow ended up on your blog and while still searching I ended up on this post.

Reading what you wrote about your babies is so deep, so real, so true, so wonderful and great beyond words the fact that God have given us the ability to love another human being unconditionally like that. Anyone who says they understand or can relate does not know what they're talking about unless they are a mother. And OMG the part about how you were getting him to say I love you at the time, I am at that stage with my daughter and isn't is amazing? miraculous? that no matter what or who the baby is, they each go through the same phases from the time they're born.:)