I am for sale over at dinagideon's other blog, Cash from My Closet...
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So I am thinking about changing up my blog a bit, maybe making it a little less "personal." Here is why...I had a comment on Friday night about how I went on about the skirt I was wearing being a size 6 and how I mentioned how it was too big for me (actually said it was too big in the waist), when (in the commenter's opinion), it clearly was too tight. Another commenter came along and quickly jumped to my defense, which was very nice...and then the original commenter apologized and made it more clear what she/he had meant. Most of the comments were very sweet and actually said they really like the way the skirt looked on me, but I still had a nagging feeling...maybe I just need to filter what I say here a bit more. Had I just said, here is this skirt, "fab isn't it?" and maybe mentioned its size as a reference point for you all, then maybe I would have avoided the comment I received. I do feel like I have spent a lot of time on this blog going on about my weight and how I really want to lose it, and every time I lose a bit more, I do tend to be a bit "woo-hoo" and all...but maybe I should just focus on one or two things rather than kind of be all willy-nilly with this blog...in order to regain some structure and avoid some of the backlash (and I do see the original commenter's intent...be proud of who I am...even if it means sizing up to an 8...which by the way, I wouldn't have done, the sales assistant, and the other ladies shopping with me all agreed the 6 was the best fit).
I guess I just want to feel that I can post here without fear of reprisal. I do know that if I put myself out there, then it is bound to happen...but if I just keep it all tidy, dry, and just the facts, ma'am, I have a feeling things will be less of a mess...
I have seen the way other blogs, whose owners lay out personal anecdotes and information, get treated very poorly by other anonymous bloggers like poop on peeps. I don't think I am in the realm of being linked to by poops on peeps, but I also really don't want to even have a remote chance of that happening.
When I received that comment on Friday night, that is what I felt like..."oh, man, this goes to show...if you allow your personal feelings get involved (the way I spoke of how the skirt fit me), then you open yourself up to the comments people can leave." (Even if the intent was in the end okay...the first thought was harsh and kind of like the ones I have seen people leave at places like poop on peeps.)
I have a poll going right now. :) I want to see from you all what you want from my blog. If you are really JAZZED by my more personal stories...then awesome, vote for it! If you are more inclined to want the more business-like end of my blog (reviews, quick posts, in real life photos of clothing on me, and just the facts ma'am sizing), I can do that, too. Just let me know!
BTW, there is an "I need to see more of..." button on the poll...if you click that, could you please leave a comment with this post to let me know what you would like more of???
Oh, and the original commenter whose comment got me thinking? I am not upset...or mad...just thinking...so I thank you for that! :)
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So I am thinking about changing up my blog a bit, maybe making it a little less "personal." Here is why...I had a comment on Friday night about how I went on about the skirt I was wearing being a size 6 and how I mentioned how it was too big for me (actually said it was too big in the waist), when (in the commenter's opinion), it clearly was too tight. Another commenter came along and quickly jumped to my defense, which was very nice...and then the original commenter apologized and made it more clear what she/he had meant. Most of the comments were very sweet and actually said they really like the way the skirt looked on me, but I still had a nagging feeling...maybe I just need to filter what I say here a bit more. Had I just said, here is this skirt, "fab isn't it?" and maybe mentioned its size as a reference point for you all, then maybe I would have avoided the comment I received. I do feel like I have spent a lot of time on this blog going on about my weight and how I really want to lose it, and every time I lose a bit more, I do tend to be a bit "woo-hoo" and all...but maybe I should just focus on one or two things rather than kind of be all willy-nilly with this blog...in order to regain some structure and avoid some of the backlash (and I do see the original commenter's intent...be proud of who I am...even if it means sizing up to an 8...which by the way, I wouldn't have done, the sales assistant, and the other ladies shopping with me all agreed the 6 was the best fit).
I guess I just want to feel that I can post here without fear of reprisal. I do know that if I put myself out there, then it is bound to happen...but if I just keep it all tidy, dry, and just the facts, ma'am, I have a feeling things will be less of a mess...
I have seen the way other blogs, whose owners lay out personal anecdotes and information, get treated very poorly by other anonymous bloggers like poop on peeps. I don't think I am in the realm of being linked to by poops on peeps, but I also really don't want to even have a remote chance of that happening.
When I received that comment on Friday night, that is what I felt like..."oh, man, this goes to show...if you allow your personal feelings get involved (the way I spoke of how the skirt fit me), then you open yourself up to the comments people can leave." (Even if the intent was in the end okay...the first thought was harsh and kind of like the ones I have seen people leave at places like poop on peeps.)
I have a poll going right now. :) I want to see from you all what you want from my blog. If you are really JAZZED by my more personal stories...then awesome, vote for it! If you are more inclined to want the more business-like end of my blog (reviews, quick posts, in real life photos of clothing on me, and just the facts ma'am sizing), I can do that, too. Just let me know!
BTW, there is an "I need to see more of..." button on the poll...if you click that, could you please leave a comment with this post to let me know what you would like more of???
Oh, and the original commenter whose comment got me thinking? I am not upset...or mad...just thinking...so I thank you for that! :)
28 comments:
I love love love when you talk about sizes and what you are wearing. I appreciate the reference point. I also love to hear you talk about how something is too big on you. I think-You go girl! Good for you! If you can't talk about your successes on your own blog, then where can you!? I do understand having to deal with all types of comments and while it's your decision, I love the way you post. I love a little of this and little of that, which is how I voted! Love it all!!!
Keep up the great work, I love following you.
Aww--I love your blog! When dealing with negative people/situations, I try to remember what a friend told me once: you can't change what another person might say or do, you can only change your reactions to what they say or do (ie, don't let it bother you). I would hate to think of you changing YOUR blog because of comments/situations like this.
Hi, guys! Thank you so much...so sweet and I definitely appreciate your candor. My concern is that my blog could (potentially) be used as fodder for some of these negative blogs...and I don't think it is fair to my family to have that happen...which is why I am thinking of depersonalizing this blog a bit...keep the vultures away, if you will. ;)
That said, if enough votes come in to keep things more personal, then I will, but I am thinking of keeping more of a guard up overall, regardless of votes!!! I know you all get it!!!
What is interesting to see is that I am not HURT by what was said, instead I felt reflective, which for me, is HUGE! I am super-excited that I am able to see things with a bit more perspective...means I might be more of an "adult" now. Ha. Took long enough... :) (My dad will love that last sentence...)
I love people who give tons of reference detail - you included. It is so helpful to know if something is tight in the shoulders, loose in the waist but tight in the hips, etc, etc. I have found a few bloggers that I feel like I know how I size compared to them. So when they say something fits them (or doesn't) I can figure out how well it will fit me. I say stay the same! We love you the way you are!!
Hi my friend, I've long been a fan of your blog, so this is a tough one. In thinking about it though, I totally see how bloggers in general make themselves more vulnerable the more personal information they provide. I agree with the small changes you're thinking of, but please don't change it too much :)
Don't change a thing. This is your blog and you should be able to say what you want without editing. There are always mean people out there and they somehow will always find you and comment. Just be yourself - you're wonderful - and I love to hear what you have to say :)
Hi Dina, I wouldn't feel pressured to change your blog! For one thing I appreciate it a lot when bloggers give size references and their feelings on fit; that's really helpful to me personally. But also, I feel like a fashion blog is a place to talk about you and your feelings about fashion and clothing -- stuff like that isn't too personal! Mean people who want to pick on you (and wow, I had never seen that blog you linked to before just now) will find anything to make fun of if they really want to, but you shouldn't let it affect you or restrict you -- this is your space! (People sometimes make the occasional snarky comment on how I wear my clothing and shoes, so I do understand! I try to brush it off and take it as a piece of impartial criticism that I can reflect on, for the most part, but it can be hard.)
I like your blog, but the blog I have is private, so I completely understand you not wanting to read mean comments. You should be able to mention the size of a skirt without some one being rude about it, but since it was a school holiday, maybe it was a .... minor. I would say if people are too nasty, just put in the polyvore photos... not sure what grade(s) you usually teach, but maybe some kids just want to annoy you.
Love it as is!
I particularly like the real-life pictures and reviews of Boden items, since they're catalog-only here in the US and therefore impossible to try on before buying... your input is much appreciated.
First of all...it is your blog and really pathetic for people to respond negatively to anything you may write here.
If they don't like you or the things you say, they should be perusing elsewhere thank you very much!
When I don't enjoy a blog I'm reading...I just stop reading it!
People that feel the need to state their personal opinions on a personal blog, need to join groups that encourage open forum, not upset a woman who is simply sharing her shopping and fashion experiences.
Whew...sorry just needed to get that off my chest!
Keep writing the things you want for the reasons you started writing in the first place....
Everyone's a critic in one way or another...but I think it is safe to say that the majority of your readers find you entertaining,beautiful,smart,funny and share in your triumphs with you.
You go girl!
Hi!! don't change!! like you said, the blogger probably was just commenting her opinion, and didn't mean any harm by it! love your blog. keep it up!
(deleted by original post because i wanted to add):
It's hard to tell exactly how something fits through a picture, there was probably just a misunderstanding.
You should do whatever you are comfy doing. FWIW, I enjoy your blog the way it is. :)
You have a wonderful blog that I look forward to reading. I share your taste in clothing and appreciate that you are a busy mom of very little ones who is also able to pull some great outfits together and review them with wit and charm. It is a shame that people have a need to invade your little piece of the internet with hurtful comments. I agree with Tasty Moog. Selfishly, I'd hate to see you compromise what you write about but at the same time, you need to feel comfortable with it.
Hey, all!!!
Thanks again for your support. As of right now, the poll definitely seems to be in favor of me continuing things as is...but I will obviously try to be a bit more careful with how things can be construed.
1) Definitely don't want my kids to get negativity from anyone which is why I am VERY careful with what I choose to show and/or tell you. (Heaven forbid the awful poop on peeps finds anything to use against me.)
2) I want to appreciate how my clothing might appear to you all in the photos--yes, photos only tell part of the story...so therefore what seems utterly perfect in person may look less so on the blog.
3) I will mention my weight loss, but make it be a post on its own...I am nearing my GOAL weight (squee) and when that happens I may do a series of posts on what worked for me.
Thank you, again. Your input was valuable. BTW, C...that cracked me up...if the person who wrote that was one of my former students, I would just roll over and die. I think one of them knows, and it is a very sweet young man whose father would be very upset if I was harmed by any sort of action on his part...but I appreciate the thought!!! (I always kept this side of my life hidden from my teaching world...they already thought I was nutty enough...if they knew about this blog, I can see the looks I would have gotten at staff meetings...)
Later today I will be doing a post on an outfit I wore out for a night of shopping...it includes a review of the fabulous mini-Campo bag and the very pretty silk fleur cami.
BTW, I wrote in my lengthy response that your "input was valuable." Uh, what???
I should have said "your input was invaluable." Why am I having problems with the English language this morning??? ;P
Dina,
I love your blog, though I don't post comments often (a problem using google reader). I do worry about you cute young girls who open yourselves up to scrutiny. Mostly though, I worry about people taking advantage of you by using your family images on sites you didn't intend. You hear about that kind of thing. I would like to see you all go private, but that sets up another set of problems. I don't pretend to have the answers, but just want you to know I think you are all very brave, and hope the best for all of you. Don't give more information about yourselves than absolutely necessary. Carrie
CDP: Yes, I worry about that myself. I think I will be employing (at least for now) more of my watermark...it is pretty and it does stop people from being predatory with my images. ;) Thank you...and yes, I get how much google reader inhibits your ability to comment!!! And, btw, if I ever go private, I will definitely want you to be with me!!!
Thanks Dina! I would hound you until you did ;)
Hi Dina,
I love your blog and love what a REAL person you are. Even on your not so great days, I appreciate you trying to look at the bright side and finding it. I support whatever you do but I did vote to keep it as it is :).
Have a great week!
I will read your blog whether or not you change it! I really enjoy it.
Off topic but so important: I just stopped by the Boden site and their winter sale has begun!! You get 5% cash back if you are an Ebates user. I thought you and your readers would want to know...
cdp, joeyspizza, ann:
Thank you all!!!
cdp: watermarks are now in place...
ann: ooh...oooh... YAY!
I have always enjoyed your blog. With that said, I also support whatever decision/ path you decide to pursue. In the end, you should do whatever you are comfortable with. :)
Be judicious in what you decide to put out here on the internet.
Angie at youlookfab.com has a great post today on her experiences with blogging. She writes "you need to develop a thick skin and take the high road. When you dish out your thoughts and ideas for the world to see, you have to take the heat that goes along with it. People who comment don't always agree with what you say and some rudeness is inevitable. But being defensive is not the answer and learning the art of self restraint has proved invaluable."
Love you the way you are!Change or not!:)
I enjoy your blog the way it is, but I agree that a thicker skin might be required to keep it that way. Rather than pointing out the snarky, catty comment, and creating a post about it, why not just delete it, as well as any post, however supportive, that references it? Don't respond to it, and move on. Ignoring that stuff is the best way to go.
Dina, I am that original commenter, and let me just say, I am SO embarassed at the trouble I have caused. I felt bad immediately after hitting publish, and tried to delete it but couldn't (this is how you know I'm not one of your students, since I'm sure a first-grader could have figured that one out - lol).
Please don't change anything about your blog, and especially not over something mean that I said in frustration. I love how yours and other JCA blogs include size information - it is becoming invaluable in these times of erratic sizing. My suggestion was more to not let it consume you. There were some other issues brought up too, which I hope were just part of the train of thought. I hope no one thought I was in ANY way threatening you or your children! Seriously people, I thought I needed to go to confession for telling Dina her skirt looked too tight! You and I just have different preferences for sizing. Again, I truly apologize for my rude comment and for any negative feelings that came from it.
Sorry this post was so long but I wanted to express that to you. Feel free to delete it, and I promise not to cause any more trouble!
Wow, I go away from the computer to make waffles for the kids...and bam!!! Yowza!
You all are totally right about the thicker skin thing...I believe I even mentioned that I liked that I was able to not be hurt or upset, but rather reflective after the initial comments came through. That means I still was AFFECTED by the comments, but not as upset as I have been in the past...thank goodness!!!
But here is my angle, and take it as you see fit...I am above all else as honest with you all as possible. I really feel like if you are going to spend time on my blog (and I am still amazed that people do), then I want the best experience for both sides, you and me!!! :) And if that means having a very OPEN discussion, then there you have it. That is why I spend so much time fretting over this all...
So yes, I am a bit thin-skinned, and no, I am in no way upset or angry at the original commenter (please don't go to confession...I can imagine the priest now..."you are confessing what, my child?")...but that is me...and there you go.
As far as deleting comments, well, I am an American History teacher, and it is my belief that our rights as human beings is to say what we want...the only way I will delete a comment is if you say something that could ACTUALLY harm me or my family (and not just be a difference of opinion). As of today, I have deleted ONE comment and that was about two months ago. That is it...so in reality, with the hundreds of comments I have received, only one comment was dangerous enough to delete. That said...if you choose to say something that can be construed as catty, snarky, or rude, then you have to understand that other people might jump in and say their feelings, as well. :)
'Nuff said. Now let's get back to business...more reviews and in real life things coming!!!
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